Thursday, December 3, 2015

Women in islam

                                                      The Status of Women in Islam

                                                               Dr. Jamal Badawi

I. INTRODUCTION

The status of women in society is neither a new issue nor is it a fully settled one.

The position of Islam on this issue has been among the subjects presented to the Western reader with the least objectivity.

This paper is intended to provide a brief and authentic exposition of what Islam stands for in this regard. The teachings of Islam are based essentially on the Quran (God's revelation) and Hadith (elaboration by Prophet Muhammad).

The Quran and the Hadith, properly and unbiasedly understood, provide the basic source of authentication for any position or view which is attributed to Islam.

The paper starts with a brief survey of the status of women in the pre-Islamic era. It then focuses on these major questions: What is the position of Islam regarding the status of woman in society? How similar or different is that position from "the spirit of the time," which was dominant when Islam was revealed? How would this compare with the "rights" which were finally gained by woman in recent decades?

II. HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVES

One major objective of this paper is to provide a fair evaluation of what Islam contributed (or failed to contribute) toward the restoration of woman's dignity and rights. In order to achieve this objective, it may be useful to review briefly how women were treated in general in previous civilizations and religions, especially those which preceded Islam (Pre-610 C.E.). Part of the information provided here, however, describes the status of woman as late as the nineteenth century, more than twelve centuries after Islam.

Women in Ancient Civilization

Describing the status of the Indian woman, Encyclopedia Britannica states:

In India, subjection was a cardinal principle. Day and night must women be held by their protectors in a state of dependence says Manu. The rule of inheritance was agnatic, that is descent traced through males to the exclusion of females.

In Hindu scriptures, the description of a good wife is as follows: "a woman whose mind, speech and body are kept in subjection, acquires high renown in this world, and, in the next, the same abode with her husband."

In Athens, women were not better off than either the Indian or the Roman women.

Athenian women were always minors, subject to some male - to their father, to their brother, or to some of their male kin.

Her consent in marriage was not generally thought to be necessary and "she was obliged to submit to the wishes of her parents, and receive from them her husband and her lord, even though he were stranger to her."

A Roman wife was described by an historian as: "a babe, a minor, a ward, a person incapable of doing or acting anything according to her own individual taste, a person continually under the tutelage and guardianship of her husband."

In the Encyclopedia Britannica, we find a summary of the legal status of women in the Roman civilization:

In Roman Law a woman was even in historic times completely dependent. If married she and her property passed into the power of her husband... the wife was the purchased property of her husband, and like a slave acquired only for his benefit. A woman could not exercise any civil or public office, could not be a witness, surety, tutor, or curator; she could not adopt or be adopted, or make will or contract. Among the Scandinavian races women were: under perpetual tutelage, whether married or unmarried. As late as the Code of Christian V, at the end of the 17th Century, it was enacted that if a woman married without the consent of her tutor he might have, if he wished, administration and usufruct of her goods during her life.

According to the English Common Law:

...all real property which a wife held at the time of a marriage became a possession of her husband. He was entitled to the rent from the land and to any profit which might be made from operating the estate during the joint life of the spouses. As time passed, the English courts devised means to forbid a husband's transferring real property without the consent of his wife, but he still retained the right to manage it and to receive the money which it produced. As to a wife's personal property, the husband's power was complete. He had the right to spend it as he saw fit.

Only by the late nineteenth Century did the situation start to improve. "By a series of acts starting with the Married women's Property Act in 1870, amended in 1882 and 1887, married women achieved the right to own property and to enter contracts on a par with spinsters, widows, and divorcees." As late as the Nineteenth Century an authority in ancient law, Sir Henry Maine, wrote: "No society which preserves any tincture of Christian institutions is likely to restore to married women the personal liberty conferred on them by the Middle Roman Law."

In his essay The Subjection of Women, John Stuart Mill wrote:

We are continually told that civilization and Christianity have restored to the woman her just rights. Meanwhile the wife is the actual bondservant of her husband; no less so, as far as the legal obligation goes, than slaves commonly so called.

Before moving on to the Quranic decrees concerning the status of woman, a few Biblical decrees may shed more light on the subject, thus providing a better basis for an impartial evaluation. In the Mosaic Law, the wife was betrothed. Explaining this concept, the Encyclopedia Biblical states: "To betroth a wife to oneself meant simply to acquire possession of her by payment of the purchase money; the betrothed is a girl for whom the purchase money has been paid." From the legal point of view, the consent of the girl was not necessary for the validation of her marriage. "The girl's consent is unnecessary and the need for it is nowhere suggested in the Law."

As to the right of divorce, we read in the Encyclopedia Biblical: "The woman being man's property, his right to divorce her follows as a matter of course." The right to divorce was held only by man. "In the Mosaic Law divorce was a privilege of the husband only.... "

The position of the Christian Church until recent centuries seems to have been influenced by both the Mosaic Law and by the streams of thought that were dominant in its contemporary cultures. In their book, Marriage East and West, David and Vera Mace wrote:

Let no one suppose, either, that our Christian heritage is free of such slighting judgments. It would be hard to find anywhere a collection of more degrading references to the female sex than the early Church Fathers provide. Lecky, the famous historian, speaks of (these fierce incentives which form so conspicuous and so grotesque a portion of the writing of the Fathers... woman was represented as the door of hell, as the mother of all human ills. She should be ashamed at the very thought that she is a woman. She should live in continual penance on account of the curses she has brought upon the world. She should be ashamed of her dress, for it is the memorial of her fall. She should be especially ashamed of her beauty, for it is the most potent instrument of the devil). One of the most scathing of these attacks on woman is that of Tertullian: (Do you know that you are each an Eve? The sentence of God on this sex of yours lives in this age: the guilt must of necessity live too. You are the devil's gateway:    you are the unsealer of that forbidden tree; you are the first deserters of the divine law; you are she who persuades him whom the devil was not valiant enough to attack. You destroyed so easily God's image, man. On account of your desert - that is death - even the Son of God had to die). Not only did the church affirm the inferior status of woman, it deprived her of legal rights she had previously enjoyed.

III. WOMAN IN ISLAM

In the midst of the darkness that engulfed the world, the divine revelation echoed in the wide desert of Arabia with a fresh, noble, and universal message to humanity:

"O Mankind, keep your duty to your Lord who created you from a single soul and from it created its mate (of same kind) and from them twain has spread a multitude of men and women...". [Noble Quran 4:1]

A scholar who pondered about this verse states: "It is believed that there is no text, old or new, that deals with the humanity of the woman from all aspects with such amazing brevity, eloquence, depth, and originality as this divine decree."

Stressing this noble and natural conception, them Quran states:

"He (God) it is who did create you from a single soul and therefrom did create his mate, that he might dwell with her (in love)..." [Noble Quran 7:189]

"The Creator of heavens and earth: He has made for you pairs from among yourselves" [Noble Quran 42:11]

"And Allah has given you mates of your own nature, and has given you from your mates, children and grandchildren, and has made provision of good things for you. Is it then in vanity that they believe and in the grace of God that they disbelieve?" [Noble Quran 16:72]

The rest of this paper outlines the position of Islam regarding the status of woman in society from its various aspects - spiritually, socially, economically and politically.

1. The Spiritual Aspect

The Quran provides clear-cut evidence that woman is completely equated with man in the sight of God in terms of her rights and responsibilities. The Quran states:

"Every soul will be (held) in pledge for its deeds" [Noble Quran 74:38]

It also states:

"...So their Lord accepted their prayers, (saying): I will not suffer to be lost the work of any of you whether male or female. You proceed one from another..." [Noble Quran 3:195]

"Whoever works righteousness, man or woman, and has faith, verily to him will We give a new life that is good and pure, and We will bestow on such their reward according to their actions." [Noble Quran 16:97, see also 4:124]

Woman according to the Quran is not blamed for Adam's first mistake. Both were jointly wrong in their disobedience to God, both repented, and both were forgiven. [Noble Quran 2:36, 7:20-24]

In one verse in fact [20:121], Adam specifically, was blamed.

In terms of religious obligations, such as the Daily Prayers, Fasting, Poor-due, and Pilgrimage, woman is no different from man. In some cases indeed, woman has certain advantages over man. For example, the woman is exempted from the daily prayers and from fasting during her menstrual periods and forty days after childbirth. She is also exempted from fasting during her pregnancy and when she is nursing her baby if there is any threat to her health or her baby's. If the missed fasting is obligatory (during the month of Ramadan), she can make up for the missed days whenever she can. She does not have to make up for the prayers missed for any of the above reasons. Although women can and did go into the mosque during the days of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and thereafter attendance at the Friday congregational prayers is optional for them while it is mandatory for men (on Friday).

This is clearly a tender touch of the Islamic teachings for they are considerate of the fact that a woman may be nursing her baby or caring for him, and thus may be unable to go out to the mosque at the time of the prayers. They also take into account the physiological and psychological changes associated with her natural female functions.

2. The Social Aspect

a) As a child and an adolescent

Despite the social acceptance of female infanticide among some Arabian tribes, the Quran forbade this custom, and considered it a crime like any other murder.

"And when the female (infant) buried alive - is questioned, for what crime she was killed." [Noble Quran 81:8-9]

Criticizing the attitudes of such parents who reject their female children, the Quran states:

"When news is brought to one of them, of (the Birth of) a female (child), his face darkens and he is filled with inward grief! With shame does he hide himself from his people because of the bad news he has had! Shall he retain her on (sufferance) and contempt, or bury her in the dust? Ah! What an evil (choice) they decide on?" [Noble Quran 16:58-59]

Far from saving the girl's life so that she may later suffer injustice and inequality, Islam requires kind and just treatment for her. Among the sayings of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) in this regard are the following:

Whosoever has a daughter and he does not bury her alive, does not insult her, and does not favor his son over her, God will enter him into Paradise. [Ibn Hanbal, No. 1957]

Whosoever supports two daughters till they mature, he and I will come in the Day of Judgment as this (and he pointed with his two fingers held together).

A similar Hadith deals in like manner with one who supports two sisters. [Ibn-Hanbal, No. 2104]

The right of females to seek knowledge is not different from that of males. Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"Seeking knowledge is mandatory for every Muslim". [Al-Bayhaqi]

Muslim as used here including both males and females.

b) As a wife:

The Quran clearly indicates that marriage is sharing between the two halves of the society, and that its objectives, besides perpetuating human life, are emotional well-being and spiritual harmony. Its bases are love and mercy.

Among the most impressive verses in the Quran about marriage is the following.

"And among His signs is this: That He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest, peace of mind in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo, herein indeed are signs for people who reflect." [Noble Quran 30:21]

According to Islamic Law, women cannot be forced to marry anyone without their consent.

Ibn 'Abbas reported that a girl came to the Messenger of God, Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), and she reported that her father had forced her to marry without her consent. The Messenger of God gave her the choice... (between accepting the marriage or invalidating it). [Ibn Hanbal No. 2469]

In another version, the girl said:

"Actually I accept this marriage but I wanted to let women know that parents have no right (to force a husband on them)" [Ibn Majah, No. 1873]

Besides all other provisions for her protection at the time of marriage, it was specifically decreed that woman has the full right to her Mahr, a marriage gift, which is presented to her by her husband and is included in the nuptial contract, and that such ownership does not transfer to her father or husband. The concept of Mahr in Islam is neither an actual or symbolic price for the woman, as was the case in certain cultures, but rather it is a gift symbolizing love and affection.

The rules for married life in Islam are clear and in harmony with upright human nature. In consideration of the physiological and psychological make-up of man and woman, both have equal rights and claims on one another, except for one responsibility, that of leadership. This is a matter which is natural in any collective life and which is consistent with the nature of man.

The Quran thus states:

"...And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them, and men are a degree above them." [Noble Quran 2:228]

Such degree is Quiwama (maintenance and protection). This refers to that natural difference between the sexes which entitles the weaker sex to protection. It implies no superiority or advantage before the law. Yet, man's role of leadership in relation to his family does not mean the husband's dictatorship over his wife. Islam emphasizes the importance of taking counsel and mutual agreement in family decisions. The Quran gives us an example:

"...If they (husband wife) desire to wean the child by mutual consent and (after) consultation, there is no blame on them..." [Noble Quran 2:233]

Over and above her basic rights as a wife comes the right which is emphasized by the Quran and is strongly recommended by the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him); kind treatment and companionship.

The Quran states:

"...But consort with them in kindness, for if you hate them it may happen that you hate a thing wherein God has placed much good." [Noble Quran 4:19]

Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"The best of you is the best to his family and I am the best among you to my family."

The most perfect believers are the best in conduct and best of you are those who are best to their wives. [Ibn-Hanbal, No. 7396]

Behold, many women came to Muhammad's wives complaining against their husbands (because they beat them) - - those (husbands) are not the best of you.

As the woman's right to decide about her marriage is recognized, so also her right to seek an end for an unsuccessful marriage is recognized. To provide for the stability of the family, however, and in order to protect it from hasty decisions under temporary emotional stress, certain steps and waiting periods should be observed by men and women seeking divorce. Considering the relatively more emotional nature of women, a good reason for asking for divorce should be brought before the judge. Like the man, however, the woman can divorce her husband with out resorting to the court, if the nuptial contract allows that.

More specifically, some aspects of Islamic Law concerning marriage and divorce are interesting and are worthy of separate treatment.

When the continuation of the marriage relationship is impossible for any reason, men are still taught to seek a gracious end for it.

The Quran states about such cases:

"When you divorce women, and they reach their prescribed term, then retain them in kindness and retain them not for injury so that you transgress (the limits)..." [Noble Quran 2:231] [See also Quran 2:229 and 33:49]

c) As a mother:

Islam considered kindness to parents next to the worship of God.

"And we have enjoined upon man (to be good) to his parents: His mother bears him in weakness upon weakness..." [Noble Quran 31:14] [See also Quran 46:15, 29:8]

Moreover, the Quran has a special recommendation for the good treatment of mothers:

"Your Lord has decreed that you worship none save Him, and that you be kind to your parents..." [Noble Quran 17:23]

A man came to Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) asking:

O Messenger of God, who among the people is the most worthy of my good company? The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, Your mother. The man said then who else: The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, Your mother. The man asked, Then who else? The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, Your mother. The man asked, Then who else? Only then did the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) say, Your father. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

A famous saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is: "Paradise is at the feet of mothers." [In An-Nasa'i, Ibn Majah, Ahmad]

"It is the generous (in character) who is good to women, and it is the wicked who insults them."

3. The Economic Aspect

Islam decreed a right of which woman was deprived both before Islam and after it (even as late as this century), the right of independent ownership. According to Islamic Law, woman's right to her money, real estate, or other properties is fully acknowledged. This right undergoes no change whether she is single or married. She retains her full rights to buy, sell, mortgage or lease any or all her properties. It is nowhere suggested in the Law that a woman is a minor simply because she is a female. It is also noteworthy that such right applies to her properties before marriage as well as to whatever she acquires thereafter.

With regard to the woman's right to seek employment it should be stated first that Islam regards her role in society as a mother and a wife as the most sacred and essential one. Neither maids nor baby-sitters can possibly take the mother's place as the educator of an upright, complex free, and carefully-reared children. Such a noble and vital role, which largely shapes the future of nations, cannot be regarded as "idleness".

However, there is no decree in Islam which forbids woman from seeking employment whenever there is a necessity for it, especially in positions which fit her nature and in which society needs her most. Examples of these professions are nursing, teaching (especially for children), and medicine. Moreover, there is no restriction on benefiting from woman's exceptional talent in any field. Even for the position of a judge, where there may be a tendency to doubt the woman's fitness for the post due to her more emotional nature, we find early Muslim scholars such as Abu-Hanifah and At-Tabari holding there is nothing wrong with it. In addition, Islam restored to woman the right of inheritance, after she herself was an object of inheritance in some cultures. Her share is completely hers and no one can make any claim on it, including her father and her husband.

"Unto men (of the family) belongs a share of that which Parents and near kindred leave, and unto women a share of that which parents and near kindred leave, whether it be a little or much - a determinate share." [Noble Quran 4:7]

Her share in most cases is one-half the man's share, with no implication that she is worth half a man! It would seem grossly inconsistent after the overwhelming evidence of woman's equitable treatment in Islam, which was discussed in the preceding pages, to make such an inference. This variation in inheritance rights is only consistent with the variations in financial responsibilities of man and woman according to the Islamic Law. Man in Islam is fully responsible for the maintenance of his wife, his children, and in some cases of his needy relatives, especially the females. This responsibility is neither waived nor reduced because of his wife's wealth or because of her access to any personal income gained from work, rent, profit, or any other legal means.

Woman, on the other hand, is far more secure financially and is far less burdened with any claims on her possessions. Her possessions before marriage do not transfer to her husband and she even keeps her maiden name. She has no obligation to spend on her family out of such properties or out of her income after marriage. She is entitled to the "Mahr" which she takes from her husband at the time of marriage. If she is divorced, she may get an alimony from her ex-husband.

An examination of the inheritance law within the overall framework of the Islamic Law reveals not only justice but also an abundance of compassion for woman.

4. The Political Aspect

Any fair investigation of the teachings of Islam into the history of the Islamic civilization will surely find a clear evidence of woman's equality with man in what we call today "political rights".

This includes the right of election as well as the nomination to political offices. It also includes woman's right to participate in public affairs. Both in the Quran and in Islamic history we find examples of women who participated in serious discussions and argued even with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) himself (see the Noble Quran 58:14 and 60:10-12).

During the Caliphate of 'Umar Ibn al-Khattab, a woman argued with him in the mosque, proved her point, and caused him to declare in the presence of people: "A woman is right and 'Umar is wrong."

Although not mentioned in the Quran, one Hadith of the Prophet is interpreted to make woman ineligible for the position of head of state. The Hadith referred to is roughly translated: "A people will not prosper if they let a woman be their leader." This limitation, however, has nothing to do with the dignity of a woman or with her rights. It is rather, related to the natural differences in the biological and psychological make-up of men and women.

According to Islam, the head of the state is no mere figurehead. He leads people in the prayers, especially on Fridays and festivities; he is continuously engaged in the process of decision-making pertaining to the security and well-being of his people. This demanding position, or any similar one, such as the Commander of the Army, is generally inconsistent with the physiological and psychological make-up of woman in general. It is a medical fact that during their monthly periods and during their pregnancies, women undergo various physiological and psychological changes. Such changes may occur during an emergency situation, thus affecting her decision, without considering the excessive strain which is produced. Moreover, some decisions require a maximum of rationality and a minimum of emotionality - a requirement which does not coincide with the instinctive nature of women.

Even in modern times, and in the most developed countries, it is rare to find a woman in the position of a head of state acting as more than a figurehead, a woman commander of the armed services, or even a proportionate number of women representatives in parliaments, or similar bodies. One can not possibly ascribe this to backwardness of various nations or to any constitutional limitation on woman's right to be in such a position as a head of state or as a member of the parliament. It is more logical to explain the present situation in terms of the natural and indisputable differences between man and woman, a difference which does not imply any "supremacy" of one over the other. The difference implies rather the "complementary" roles of both the sexes in life.

IV. CONCLUSION

The first part of this paper deals briefly with the position of various religions and cultures on the issue under investigation. Part of this exposition extends to cover the general trend as late as the nineteenth century, nearly 1300 years after the Quran set forth the Islamic teachings.

In the second part of the paper, the status of women in Islam is briefly discussed. Emphasis in this part is placed on the original and authentic sources of Islam. This represents the standard according to which degree of adherence of Muslims can be judged. It is also a fact that during the downward cycle of Islamic Civilization, such teachings were not strictly adhered to by many people who professed to be Muslims.

Such deviations were unfairly exaggerated by some writers, and the worst of this, were superficially taken to represent the teachings of "Islam" to the Western reader without taking the trouble to make any original and unbiased study of the authentic sources of these teachings.

Even with such deviations three facts are worth mentioning:

The history of Muslims is rich with women of great achievements in all walks of life from as early as the seventh century (A.D.)

It is impossible for anyone to justify any mistreatment of woman by any decree of rule embodied in the Islamic Law, nor could anyone dare to cancel, reduce, or distort the clear-cut legal rights of women given in Islamic Law.

Throughout history, the reputation, chastity and maternal role of Muslim women were objects of admiration by impartial observers.

It is also worthwhile to state that the status which women reached during the present era was not achieved due to the kindness of men or due to natural progress. It was rather achieved through a long struggle and sacrifice on woman's part and only when society needed her contribution and work, more especially during the two world wars, and due to the escalation of technological change.

In the case of Islam such compassionate and dignified status was decreed, not because it reflects the environment of the seventh century, nor under the threat or pressure of women and their organizations, but rather because of its intrinsic truthfulness.

If this indicates anything, it would demonstrate the divine origin of the Quran and the truthfulness of the message of Islam, which, unlike human philosophies and ideologies, was far from proceeding from its human environment, a message which established such humane principles as neither grew obsolete during the course of time and after these many centuries, nor can become obsolete in the future. After all, this is the message of the All-Wise and All-Knowing God whose wisdom and knowledge are far beyond the ultimate in human thought and progress.


BIBLIOGRAPHY
The Holy, Quran: Translation of verses is heavily based on A. Yusuf 'Ali's translation, The Glorious Quran, text translation, and Commentary, The American Trust Publication, Plainfield, IN 46168, 1979.
'Abd Al-Ati, Hammudah, Islam in Focus, The American Trust Publications, Plainfield, IN 46168, 1977.
Allen, E. A., History of Civilization, General Publishing House, Cincinnati, Ohio, 1889, Vol. 3.
Al Siba'i, Mustafa, Al-Alar'ah Baynal Fiqh Walqanoon (in Arabic), 2nd. ea., Al-Maktabah Al-Arabiah, Halab, Syria, 1966.
El-Khouli, Al-Bahiy, "Min Usus Kadiat Al-Mara'ah" (in Arabic), Al-Waay Al-lslami, Ministry of Walcf, Kuwait, Vol.3 (No. 27), June 9, 1967, p.17.
Encyclopedia Americana (International Edition), American Corp., N.Y., 1969, Vol.29.
Encyclopedia Biblical (Rev.T.K.Cheynene and J.S.Black, editors), The Macmillan Co., London, England, 1902, Vol.3.
The Encyclopedia Britannica, (11th ed.), University Press Cambridge, England, 191 1, Vol.28.
Encyclopedia Britannica, The Encyclopedia Britannica, Inc., Chicago, III., 1968, Vol.23.
Hadith. Most of the quoted Hadith were translated by the writer. They are quoted in various Arabic sources. Some of them, however, were translated directly from the original sources. Among the sources checked are Musnad Ahmad Ibn Hanbal Dar Al-Ma'aref, Cairo, U.A.R., 1950, and 1955, Vol.4 and 3,SunanIbnMajah, Dar Ihya'a Al-Kutub al-Arabiah, Cairo, U.A.R., 1952, Vol.l, Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Vol.3.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

muslimah and his duties towards his husband

A Woman Duties towards her Husband

                                         by Sayyid Shah Aal-e-Rasool Nazmi Barakaati

All Praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds, our Cherisher and Sustainer. All praise is due to Allah, who created spouses for us from ourselves to gain rest and kept love and mercy between the Husbands and the Wives. Countless Durood and Salaams be upon the most perfect and unique of creation, our Leader, our Master, the Beloved of Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala Muhammad Mustafa SallAllahu Ta'ala Alaihi wa ala Aalihi wa SaHbihi wa Baaraka wa Sallam.

The Holy Qur’an says: “…So the righteous women are obedient [to Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala and submissive to their husbands], and guard in [the husband’s] absence what Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala would have them guard [i.e., their chastity and the prestige and property of the husband]…” [4: 34]

As a wife, side by side with enjoying equal fundamental human rights, a woman has been placed one degree below the husband in the matter of administering the affairs of the family. The Qur’an says: “…but men have a degree over them…” [2:228]

Compare this with the following verdicts of the exponents of modern scientific thought on this problem.

Says Nemilov: “Man, perhaps even down to the protein molecules of his tissue cells, is biologically different from woman. From the very moment of sex formation in the embryo, the biological ducting of the sexes develops along entirely divergent paths … We must recognize the unquestionable existence of the biological inequality of the sexes. It goes deeper and is of far greater import than it would appear to those not familiar with natural science.”

“The desires and conduct of the two sexes”, says Mercier, “are not similar but are complementary and reciprocal. In courtship the male is active: his role is to court, to pursue, to possess, to control, to protect, to love. The role of a female is passive … Consequent on this fundamental difference are certain others. For pursuit, greater ardour is necessary than for mere reception; and the courting activity of the male is, throughout the whole animal kingdom, more ardent than that of the female; and this greater ardour is connected with certain other differences.” .

Julian Huxley observes: “I venture to prophesy not only that the inherent differences between the sexes will not tend to diminish in the course of evolution but that man will continue, as now and in the past, to emphasize them by custom and convention.”

It should, however, be clearly kept in mind that, in the Qur’anic teaching, the husband and the wife stand in complementary relation to each other, and never in the relation of the ruler and the ruled. The Qur’an enjoins upon men: “They are your garments and you are their garments….” [2:187]

In the presence of the husband, the Holy Qur’an has not chosen her to function as the head of the family, because owing to his masculine constitution and appropriate mental make-up, the husband is better equipped to earn livelihood for the family, to bear the physical strains, and to avert dangers to the family in general. The Holy Qur’an refers to these functions of the husband when, speaking of his role for the wife. It says: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala has given the one more than the other, and because they spend of their wealth …” [4: 34]

Of course, the husband has to administer the family jointly with the wife, according to the Qur’anic Law: “… who conduct their affairs by mutual consultation …” [42: 38]

As a follower of the Qur’an, it is only in extreme cases that the husband may differ irreconcilably with the wife. But, then too, he cannot transgress the bounds of justice and mercy of the Holy Qur’an, which commands him to be always just, merciful and considerate.

The second position of the wife as administrator is, thus, not a source of suffering for her but a source of strength and a blessing.

Every woman must obey the legitimate commands of her husband. Appeasement of husband is a great virtue while the displeasure of the husband carries heavy prosecution. The Holy Prophet of Islam SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has said: “If I were to command humans to prostrate before anyone other than Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala, I would have commanded the women to bow down before their husbands.”

The Messenger of Allah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has also said: “If a woman dies in a state that her husband is happy with her, she would enter the Paradise”.

The Glorious Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has also said: “When the husband calls his wife for some work, she should immediately attend his call even if she may be sitting by the side of her hearth ”.  The Hadith means that the wife should give top priority to attend to her husband.

Another Hadith says: “If a husband says to his wife to transform a yellow mountain into a black one or turn a black mountain into a white one, she should obey his orders”.  The Hadith means that the woman should try to perform the hardest of the hard job assigned by her husband.

The Holy Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam said: “Allah’s SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala Angels curse the woman throughout the night whose husband calls her to bed but she refuses and the husband goes to sleep in anger”.

Relations between husband and wife have been conceived as based on mutual cooperation, love and compassion. The Holy Qur’an says: “And among His Signs is this that He created your mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your ; verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” [30: 21

A Muslim Husband and his duties towards his wife...

A Husband Duties towards his Wife


Almighty Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala has prescribed certain rights of the husband towards their wives. The Holy Qur’an says: “The women have almost the same rights over men as men have certain rights over the women in kindness.”

Beloved Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) has said: “Best among you are those who behave well with their women.”

Holy Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) has also said: “I make a Will to you about the women, so obey my will.”

In another Hadith, the Beloved Habeeb SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam is reported to have said: “No believing man should have enmity and hatred against a believing woman. If he dislikes certain habits of that woman, there would certainly be some virtues in her too.”

The Hadith means that the woman must be having both good and bad habits. Man should not always point out her bad habits only. He should also appreciate her good habits.

The Rights of the Wife

There are certain obligations that men owe to the women and these obligations should be fully appreciated.

1. Every husband has the obligation to provide for the sustenance of his wife. She should be provided with adequate food, a comfortable home, suitable clothes and other basic amenities of life. He should always bear in mind that this woman has disassociated herself from her parents, brothers and sisters, relatives and friends and has joined him to share all the ups and downs of life. Hence, it has become his duty to look after her basic needs and comforts.

2. It should be remembered that husbands, who never bother for the sustenance of their wives, commit a severe crime of depriving Allah’s SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala creatures of their rights. Such people would be dealt with severely in the Court of Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala. The Holy Qur’an says: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means.” [4:34]

3. The husband should satisfy his wife’s physical needs. The Sharee’ah has not prescribed any limit for this. But, he has to ensure that woman’s minimum sexual requirements are met so that she may not commit a sin by eyeing other men in order to quench her thirst. There are certain men who, after marriage, do not take care of the sexual needs of their wives. Such people are great sinners and will be severely convicted in the Court of Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala. Almighty Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala has granted women the right to conjugal relations with their husbands. The importance of this right can be well understood by the following example of Ameer al-Mo’mineen Sayyiduna Umar al-Farooq Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala Anho. It is reported that he was on his routine inspection round at night in Madinatul Munawwara when he heard an old lady moaning and reciting melancholic couplets. The Caliph Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala Anho stopped there and listened to the wailing lady. He Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala Anho investigated the matter and came to know that the husband of the woman had gone for Jihad long time ago and this woman has been remembering her husband with these sad couplets. The Ameer Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala Anho was deeply moved and immediately issued an official Decree to all chiefs of his army that no married man should be away from his wife for more than four months.

4. The husband should not beat up his wife without her committing a most severe crime. The Messenger of Allah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has said: “Nobody should beat up his wife as he does beat up his slave. He should make love with her later some time.”

However, if the woman commits a bigger crime, the husband can beat her not in vengeance but with the intention of reforming her and as a warning.  While beating, he should take care that she should not be hurt seriously. The Books of Fiqha have mentioned that the husband can punish his wife for four things:

a. If the husband orders his wife to decorate herself with ornaments and legitimate make-up but she disobeys and remains dirty.
b. If the husband invites her to bed and she refuses without any legitimate reason.
c. If she does not take bath to purify herself after menses.
d. If she abstain from performing Salaah without a legitimate reason.

In the above circumstances, the husband should first persuade the wife. If she does not agree to comply with his requests, he may threaten her. If she still does not obey him, he can beat her barring her face. He should not beat her so severely to the extent of a fracture or a severe wound.

5. In order to bring peace and prosperity in the married life, both the wife and the husband should take care of each other’s sentiments and emotions. The anger of husband brings to the wife nothing but tension, depression and confusion. Similarly, the anger of the wife brings to the husband nothing but disappointment, mental torture, frustration and bitterness. It is, therefore, advisable to both husband and wife to be patient and compassionate in their dealings.
 

6. The husband should never appreciate the beauty and other merits of strange woman in front of his wife. This may lead to create jealousy and suspicion in the mind of his wife. She would think that her husband has some illicit relations with that woman. This thought is a poison that kills matrimonial relations. If a man cannot tolerate that his wife should wrongly be associated with another man, the wife also cannot tolerate another woman to share her husband. The woman cannot listen to praise and admiration of another woman through the lips of her husband even if that another woman happens to be his mother or sister or some other close relative.

7. Man is, undoubtedly, made a ruler over the woman but it does not mean that he should ask her to do a work, which is beyond her capacity, or a work which she would not like to do. If the husband still insists his wife to do the work against her will, she would accomplish that job unwillingly and this would create a sort of disgust against her husband, which would ultimately mar their matrimonial life.

8. The husband should from time to time censure the life style of his wife - sometimes in a harsh tone, sometimes with love and affection and sometimes with persuasion. There are husbands who always keep a rod hanging with their moustaches and never treat their wives in a good manner other than rebuking and beating them. Such wives get frustrated and start hating their husbands. There are other hen-pecked husbands who over-pamper their wives even after they commit severe blunders. Their wives become stubborn and outspoken.

9. The husband should implement this couplet of Sa’di of Shiraz in their life. He says: “Strictness and pampering are very good things but at appropriate times”. For example, the surgeon cuts open the wound but at the same time apply soothing ointment. Likewise, the husband should not be very strict nor very soft. A middle path always brings good results.

10. The husband, while setting out on a tour, should go to his wife and informally seek her consent in a loving manner and as a matter of goodwill. He may ask her to invoke the Almighty Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala that the journey may prove safe and beneficial for him. Similarly, while returning from the tour he should bring some exclusive gifts for her. This gesture would encourage the wife to think with satisfaction that my husband loves me to the extent that even if he was away engaged in his business activities, he remembered me. Thus, a simple initiative on the part of the husband will win over the heart of his wife.

11. If the woman brings anything from her father’s house or prepares herself and presents it to the husband, he should express gratitude and appreciate it. This will please her. The husband should never reject or discard or criticize any gift offered by his wife.

12. If the wife falls sick, the husband should dedicatedly look after her. He should take extra pain in her nursing, feeding, etc. This little service will win over the heart of the wife and she will be very grateful to the husband.
 

13. The husband should express his full confidence and trust in his wife and, to prove this, he should hand over the domain of the house to her so that she may feel dignified and involved. The Holy Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) has said that the woman is the guardian and caretaker of her husband’s house and Almighty Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala will take an account from her in this regard on the Day of Judgement.

14. The very benefit of relying on the wife would be that she would feel herself responsible for a vital department in the set up of the household. This will give the husband an opportunity to freely think of other things regarding the promotion and progress of his business.

15. The husband should never share the secrets of her wife with others. Holy Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) has said: “Worst is the person in the sight of Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala who goes to his wife and then discloses her secrets and lowers her status in the eyes of others”.

16. The husband should be neat and clean as he expects the same from his wife. He should look smart, dynamic and a lovable person.

17. The husband should provide her with the paraphernalia of personal hygiene such as soap, hair oil, comb, Mehndi, perfumes, etc.  so that the wife may keep herself neat and clean and in better looks.

18. The husband should not level charges of corrupt practices against his wife without going into the depth of the matter. The relationship between a husband and a wife is based purely on mutual understanding. They have to trust each other. Any baseless suspicion against each other would mar the relations of the husband and wife.  A Hadith says: “One Bedouin came to the court of Holy Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) and said, ‘O Allah’s Apostle SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam, my wife has delivered a child who is dark complexioned and does not resemble me. I am sure it is not my child’. Holy Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) said, ‘Do you have some camels?’ He said, ‘Yes, I have many camels’.  Holy Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) asked, ‘What is the colour of those camels?’ He said, ‘They are brown’. The Holy Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) asked, ‘Are there some grey camels among them?’ He said, ‘Yes, a few of them are grey’. The Holy Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) said, ‘Tell me how those brown camels gave birth to these grey camels?’ He said, ‘Some camel among the ancestors of my brown camels would have been of grey colour and these grey camels might have taken their origin from that particular camel.’ The Holy Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) said, ‘Similarly, it is possible that anyone among your ancestors would have been of black complexion and your child might have inherited his genetic influence.’”
 

19. If there is some difference of opinion between the husband and wife, the husband should not make a hurry to pronounce divorce to her.  He should exercise restraint. After his anger subsides, he should ponder over the entire matter with a cool mind. He may seek the advice of his elders in this matter and decide whether or not there is a chance of reconciliation and settlement. If a point of understanding and reconciliation emerges, he should act accordingly and refrain from breaking the wedlock. The  Holy Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) has said that the divorce is the most disliked things among the permissible things in the sight of Almighty Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala.

20. If both husband and wife feel that there is no way out except the separation, the husband should pronounce one Talaaq after the woman clears her menses.  There will be a temporary separation between them. This period will give them enough time to review their decision of separation. If they think that reconciliation is in their interest, the husband should take his wife back in his arms and forget what had happened between them.  But if they think that they can no more live together, the husband should pronounce the second Talaaq after she clears her menses. The second pronouncement separates both of them. They have still a time to think of reconciliation. If they decide to live together, they have to perform the Nikah afresh after the period of Iddat is over. If they do not go for any reconciliation till the completion of the Iddat period, the third Talaaq will automatically come into force bringing a permanent separation between them. They cannot enter wedlock unless they go for Halalah. Halalah means that the woman should marry another man and have physical intercourse with him. The husband number two should divorce her. After the completion of the period of Iddat, she can marry the husband number one again.

21. There are some ignorant persons who play with the word Talaaq. They pronounce the divorce over minor clashes with their wives. After the pronouncement of divorce they repent and rush to the theologians and Muftis and force them to give a verdict in their favor. Some persons, while approaching the theologians, tell a lie that they had pronounced only one Talaaq. The Mufti has to allow them to retain their wives according to the Law of Sharee’ah. Thus, these ignorant people get themselves involved in establishing relations with a woman who is otherwise not to be taken as wife without Halalah.

22. If a man possesses more than one wife, it is obligatory on him to do justice with them. There should be equal treatment among wives in respect of sustenance, living conditions and personal attention. He has to spend equal time with every one of them. The Holy Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) has said that if a man has two wives and does not treat them equally, he would be raised on the Day of Judgment with half his body paralyzed.

23. If the husband faces some trouble because of the misbehavior of his wife, he should try to avoid her and keep patience. Woman’s arrogance and foolishness is a natural phenomenon. The Glorious Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH)has said, “Woman has been created from the bent rib of Hazrat Adam (A.S). If somebody tries to make the bent bone straight, it will rather break instead of becoming straight”. Similarly, if someone tries to set his wife right, there will be more a chance of separation instead of improvement in her nature.

24. The husband should not behave as a miser in meeting the materialistic requirements of his wife nor should he go for extravagance in her maintenance. He should define his expenditure as per his capacity.

25. The husband should not confine his wife within the four walls of his house. She should be taken to her parents and relatives from time to time provided these visits do not bring any trouble to the peace of his house.
 

Eid Milad ul Nabi ki Shar'aii haisiat...

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Divorce in Islam

Divorce in Islam 


Matrimony and divorce are two basic elements of our family system. When two people get married, it is their utmost desire to stay in this relation forever. They genuinely wish to love, support and comfort each other through thick and thin. In this blessed relationship each partner is required to treat the other kindly and good-heartedly.

But sometimes, there does arise a situation where the husband and wife gets separated. There are too much differences between them that it is difficult to carry on this relationship. In such circumstances, Islam allows the husband and wife to get a divorce. Both life partners have an equal right to get separated if they do not want to live together anymore. The only difference is that a man divorces a woman while a woman has to ask for a divorce. Even though divorce is permissible in Islam, yet it is considered the most hateful act. Our Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) said: Allah did not make anything lawful more abominable to Him than Divorce. Of all the lawful acts the most detestable to Allah is Divorce.

When a husband divorces his wife, the wife is required to stay in his husband’s house for the period of her first three menstrual cycles i-e three months. This time period is called Iddat. Whereas for a pregnant woman this Iddat period is until the birth of the child. According to Holy Quran during this Iddat period.
The wife must stay in the husband’s house.

The husband should continue to pay for his wife’s necessities.

The wife should not hide her pregnancy.

If the husband changes his mind about giving divorce, then he can revoke his decision.

If a man still sticks to his decision even after the period of Iddat then his wife shall be considered a free woman. She has a right to marry any other man she wants to. During this separation period, it is unlawful for a husband to take back any gift or property given to her. Instead, he should give her something at this parting.

In the case that the husband takes back his decision during the Iddat period, the husband and wife do not need to re-marry. If the same situation arises second time where the husband intends to divorce his wife, then, according to the Holy Qur'an, he can use his right to do it again as well. If he wants to revise his decision once again, then the divorce shall be considered invalid and the two of them can live together as husband and wife. However, if the third time the divorce sentence is pronounced then the two of them will be separated permanently. In the words of the Qur’an: This divorce (in which the husband can revoke his decision in the Iddat period] is permitted twice only. (2:229)

Surah Yasin with urdu translation